Out of the mouth of babes

 

Please pay attention to my serious face
This is important stuff

 

 

Hello Everyone, I’m Phoebe and I’m almost 9 months old.  I hope you have been enjoying the blog that is basically all about me!

I thought it was time I dropped by and said hello.  I may only be a little person but I wanted to share with you life from my point of view.  The Olds have no idea what I’m up to – can’t wait to see what you all think!

First off, I have the most wonderful and loving family BUT there is room for improvement in certain areas.  With a bit of gentle guidance from me, I’m sure you will all be doing as you are told in no time. So, Fam, please take note.

Grandparents, yeah, sure, I like Peppa Pig, but PLEASE, there’s a whole world of CBEEBIES out there – can we just switch it up a bit?  I know you are not a fan of Mr Tumble, but it’s really not about you is it?

 

Not this episode again
Do I look like I want to jump in a muddy puddle?

 

Meal times – as if I am gonna be fooled by all the silly noises and faces you pull to try and convince me to eat that vegetable casserole!  I mean, come on – would you eat it? I can hear you laughing about how disgusting it looks!  Of course I love the desserts, they are delicious and I have my Mummy’s sweet tooth.

Oh, and Nanna – that cow rattle.  Ugh. Really?  I keep throwing it across the room but you still keep shoving it in my face, so let me make it real simple.  I DO NOT WANT TO PLAY WITH THE MOO COW!

And can someone PLEASE take me swimming?  You know, that thing that you keep talking about that I will love and will be sooooooo good for me?? Yeah?? Do it.

I also wanted to share a couple of  top tips for you new babies out there who haven’t quite established the correct pecking order in your household yet.  (I was lucky that I was in charge from the get-go, but for some of you with siblings, you may have to work a bit harder to establish your presence).

BE CUTE.

AND SMART.

All babies are cute. FACT.  However, if you combine this with a little brain power, you can get anyone, especially the Olds, to do whatever you want.

Scenario 1. You are sitting in your baby walker whilst your Mummy tries to get the washing done, or, heaven forbid, is eating without you. It’s a good idea to remind her every now and again that you are the number 1 priority.  I suggest you start with a bit of gentle whining.  This always makes me laugh because she starts doing stuff quicker, knowing she is on borrowed time.  Then take it up a notch and get louder and a bit more cross.  Don’t linger too long though, cos if she is still not taking any notice you need to let her have it with both barrels.  This is guaranteed to make her stop what she is doing IMMEDIATELY and pick you up.  Then and only then, do you reward her with one of your cutest smiles – one from your top 5.  Not the best, you need to save that for really serious situations.

 

One of my top 5 Cute faces
Cute smile number 5

 

Scenario 2 My Grandparents decided to take me out to Great Yarmouth (eye roll).  It was a Bank Holiday weekend and the place was heaving.  I had already been in the car for 45 minutes and had to wait a while longer whilst they faffed about with my new pram and squabbled about who was going to push it.  I soon sorted that out.  As if I was going to lay flat on my back and miss out on all the fun.  Figuring that they would not want to be embarrassed by a screaming baby, it didn’t take much complaining before I was in my Granddad’s arms, taking in the sights and sounds of the seaside whilst my Nanna stressed about him dropping me. (eye roll).

Assess the seriousness of each situation and use whatever baby ammunition necessary in your arsenal to get the desired outcome and if all else fails, deploy liquid stools.

74051e82-2de3-48f9-912e-cf667e662ac6

Just a few more pointers before I go and watch Celebrity Juice.

  • Baby Bouncer.  Great.  Love it.  Good work, People.  Keep it up.
  • Dresses with cats on. Seriously? NO.
  • Taking photos of me that you are planning to use on my 18th birthday to embarrass me?  Not cool.
  • Taking photos of me in the sink and telling me its a spa. (eye roll)
  • Granddad is my favourite.  Be more like Granddad.
No, it's not a spa
I’m in the sink again

 

To my Mummy and Daddy, a baby Brother or Sister in another 12 months would be great – I should have whipped you all into shape by then.

As you can see, I’ve got my work cut out with this lot.  I’ll pop by again soon and let you know how they are all doing.

Lots of love,

Phoebe xxx

 

 

 

 

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