Yes, its that time again. My last Valentines post was very different to the message I am putting out to you today. You can read it here What’s love got to do with it?
Social media is full of love today, as you would expect. That can be tough for those who are alone, or do not feel truly loved. It is so easy to convince yourself that you are not lovable, or good enough or do not even deserve to be loved. Negative thoughts can take over all too easily and we all know it is much easier to believe something negative that someone has said about us rather than something positive.
When we begin to doubt ourselves, anxiety can creep in and we can become anxious about everyday interactions with others, getting the bus to work, going out in general. This a daily ritual for me and has been for longer than I can remember. I am currently sitting in my kitchen, glaring at the back door, because I know today I have to go outside but I haven’t yet found the strength to put my coat on and do it.
Eventually though, I will convince myself that I am important enough that I need to take care of myself. That no one else really understands my struggles and that is why I have to rely on myself. I am the only person that knows what I really need to make me feel better.
If I don’t love myself enough to take care of my own needs, and put my wellbeing first, I will never be able to truly love anyone else.
If I cannot replace my negative self talk with positive, loving conversations with myself, I will never feel completely happy with being me.
I realise that I am extremely fortunate, for my wonderful family and I have a lot of love in my life. That is not the point. In order to be able to support them and care for them the best way that I know how, I have to be the best that I can be.
I now know that it is ok to feel overwhelmed by the thought of going somewhere new, or where there are a large number of people. I know that it’s ok if I choose to cancel or completely avoid a situation because I just can’t handle it right now. What it is not ok to do, is then beat myself up over it again and again. I am learning that sometimes I need to be selfish and simply say ‘No, I can’t do that’, and be content with my decision, because that is the right thing for me.
So show yourselves some love today and celebrate just how wonderful you truly are.