It’s Not Me, It’s ME

I am not that person anymore.

I don’t think the things that I used to think. I don’t say the things I used to say.  Those thoughts have been replaced with goals, plans, and visions for my future.  Those words have been replaced with silence from my inner guidance.

I now spend my time working on myself, prioritising what is important to me.

Do I ever have ‘off’ days?  Absolutely.

Do I get back on it? Fucking right, I do.

I am dealing with 49 years of bullshit beliefs, feelings of rejection, loss, grief, depression and am kicking each one of those on their arse.

I am absolutely focused and determined that by the time I reach my milestone birthday, in December, that I will have finally become someone that I can be proud of, and, more importantly, that my family can be proud of.

I have come so far and I now feel pity where anger used to reside.  I look back and know that the people and circumstances were not down to me and I am thriving in spite of those things.

I have clarity and compassion and a level of understanding that is unlike anything I have ever known before.  In the past, I  always looked for the negative in any situation, or the way to create the most drama.

Fuck that.

Roll forward 4 months and I am waving goodbye to the old me.  I already do not recognise that person.

What a way to celebrate a birthday.

I don’t need balloons, (they are bad for the environment), I was going to say I don’t need cake, but everyone needs cake. I don’t need a fuss or gifts, because all I want is to be surrounded by my nearest and dearest.

I am looking forward to saying goodbye

xxx

 

 

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